Shortest workday in a long time...

So I came in today at 645 expecting to be very productive.
Which was dumb because today was Lynn's funeral and I was unproductive.
4 hours at a Catholic/mass funeral will tire anyone out.
Her son Niki gave a great speech about his mom and I completely lost it.
Lynn was many people's champion and I sometimes foolishly think if she was still around some of the shit going on at work wouldn't be so bad.
Probably it would still be bad but Lynn would be there to make us all laugh.
Or spill something on her shirt.
In honor of Lynn please spill something on you tomorrow. Or if it will make you feel better on someone else. She would probably like that better.

Fat Butt looses her friend...

Did you know not to long ago my name was Fat Butt?
It was not my choice obviously.
My friend Lynn died yesterday - she was 62. You say Caprise how do you get a friend 40 yrs older than you? She was our medical nurse at work and the first person to make me feel I did the right thing by changing jobs. She immediately made me feel welcome and embraced who I was. She liked that I championed others who normally are the underdog and she fed my love of amber.
I have a huge bling bling Amber necklace from her that is so big I really can hardly wear it.
She always was one to eat and this was evidenced by her stains on her shirt.
She was addicted to baby feet - if you had a child and brought said child in and Lynn was around instantly socks would come off and she would play w/their feet.
She was a nurse but she smoked - when she got cancer she told us with a mischief look it's not from smoking either - it's not that type of cancer. When she started loosing all her weight she made sure we complimented her as she was always a little heavy. She liked to eat!!!
She started buying fancy velor jump suits to wear as she started getting sicker.
Ironically she didn't pass away from cancer but rather the several strokes she had. Toward the end the woman with an amazing appetite couldn't even eat.
Her funeral is on Monday one of my least favorite work days and ironically is during work.
So again I have to keep a brave face and support everyone else when really I just want to say go the fuck away.
Can't you see we are all hurting?
She started calling me fat butt when I told her I wanted to loose weight. So far I have lost 40 lbs.
She was amazing and crazy, and mischievous and had a wicked sense of humor.
She was just one of those people you rarely meet but when you do you never forget.

Still the one...

So I have decided by the first of the year I have to have a new job.
A few weeks ago I upset some of my coworkers by how I reacted to some comments they made about me and they have yet to let it go.
Seriously... this would not be so bad but they feel it's ok to talk about me in front of me.
Lovely...
Hate me all you want but do you have to throw it in my face?
It would be so much easier if I had a door, truly.

Over tiredness strikes again!!!

Ever been so tired and stressed and worried you can't sleep?
If so I salute you 'cause here I am just beat and I can't sleep.
Blows, blows, blows.

On a bright note I am getting a ton of bill writing done.
And thus my stress....

Loss

So today I went to our Hospice in Madison to say goodbye to a friend.
What is more terrible is even now I can't cry because she didn't appear to be the person I knew and it froze me.
It is so hard to believe what an illness can do to a person so quickly.
I really don't know what to say or how to even be right now so I am going to go.
Sorry

FIGHT THE POWER

That is right ladies and gentleman. We came out strong but not on top.
Do not let that be the end of us.
Rumors are already starting that George's little brother is looking to carry on the family tradition.
Don't let it happen. Don't run away and pout. We made the first step by voting now keep it up.
We can not let our country be dictated. Honestly, I know it's hard to believe right now but we do live in a democracy.
Some things to keep in mind.
Several of the states that might have voted for Kerry had same sex marriage rulings on the bill.
This brought out a lot of people who normally wouldn't vote, also keep in mind our normally politically soft spoken ethnic brothers and sisters were out w/a vengenance as well.
In Milwaukee they made it happen by sending the first African American woman to office.
Hold onto these things. Our country is important. What makes it so is that we can speak out when we don't agree with something. There are a lot more voices saying the same thing than ever before. We will bring a change but not if we sit at home and pout about it.
Don't give up if anything get butt fucking ugly pissed.
I am. I am done crying it's time to fight.
This shit will not continue without a fight from me.
Are you with me?
My new anthem "Fight the Power" everyone get out your Public Enemy Tshirts start wearing them and yelling "Flavor Flav!!!"
Get crazy, get stupid, but please don't get sad and give up.
This is our wake up call.
Answer it.

Chanting

Did lots of it this weekend w/some of my oldest and dearest friends ...
Some of our chants included:
You Suck
Devil Girl
Major Ranger
WSUW (in a rhythmic way and feet stomping)

We did interpretative dance to Randal Rudolph and the Family Band and smiled bashfully to the fact that we knew every single metal song our friend Paul's band played.
I can't believe at one point I thought dancing to Driving and Cryin's Fly Me Courageous was a good idea but I did. And people I only had three drinks.

So much fun and more to tell but I have signed on to try and write a novel so I have lots of work to do.