5 year Anniversary

So a week from Saturday will be our 5 yr. anniversary. We will be in Jamaica at the place where we got married. Very romantic. Unfortunately we are going as buddies. A lot has happened in the last few months, so good, bad, ugly,and otherwise. We are working on getting to place where we can at least be friends. I care about my husband do I love him the same way? Not sure. The good thing is rather than just throw in the towel we are working through it. Were will end up? I dunno know. I do know we have an amazing little kid. I never knew I could love someone so much. She makes me the happiest person. We should all be so lucky to have such a light in our lives.

Three years and counting...

Saturday I turned 37. To be honest not too eventful. Once I turned 35 I have kind of been whatever about my birthdays. In this day and age - age truly is just a number. My Gabby gets more amazing as the days go by and I can't believe she is mine. She is a sweet, smart, funny, loving girl. How did I get so lucky?
Things are still all bizarre on the home front - mostly my doing. Something that has happened to me as I move closer to my 40's. I have become less complacent. I find aside from Gabby I enjoy my own company. Which is a problem when you are married. It is becoming a problem. I am perfectly content to do my own thing. When did this happen? Is this normal?
So then I pose this question - am I looser if I have to move to KC in live in my parent's basement for awhile?

Where to Begin?!

Let's start with the cool - Gabby is now almost 17 months. She is a riot and I count myself lucky to be her Mommy. She is very sweet and smart and I feel like we are truly partners in crime.

The weather is being pretty cooperative, we are on a verge of an amazing election. What are we going to do when this thing ends tonight?! And without a lot of crazy dieting on my part I have managed to loose 7lbs!

Now for the not so cool. My Mom is still in a cast, our neighbors trimmed our tree, and my husband and I are having some issues. What makes me a little sad is I kind of am at peace with things. What will happen will happen and we did our best. I love my husband but I feel like we have graduated from married couple to roommates. What's worse is I feel like he is kind of ok with that...

MOVING ON...

Finally there is the bizarre - o. A random email from an ex who I haven't hear from in 5 years!!!!

FIVE YEARS PEOPLE.

Is there a full moon no one told me about?!

What you gonna do right? As my friends on Yo Gabba Gabba would say - Keep smiling...

Off to KC I Go...

My Mom shattered her ankle last week. As a result I am heading off to KC with Gabby to take care of Mom. If nothing else to keep her some company as she is confined to a wheelchair for a minimum of 6 wks.
Feeling some guilt as it is only the first month of school but in reality it is 10 days I won't teach. (Six classes for my 4's and four classes for my 3's) Still I am stressing. I have been frantically getting things done before I go. I hope to have it all done tomorrow so I can focus on laundry and packing.
Keep your fingers crossed!

Jumbly

I need to take a deep breath and could use a big glass of wine. BIG. I am experiencing a lot of inner turmoil. I need to vent but I am hesitant to air too much of my dirty laundry. You know?
I have been feeling a lot of pressure not at work but at home. I feel like I am talking and behaving in circles. How often can you say the same thing and not have it change, and at what point do you say enough? Then I think what I am complaining about? I have so much, I have a beautiful amazing child yet I still feel this space that needs to be filled. I just need to figure out with what. At this particular moment - a huge peanut butter chunk cookie would certainly help...

The Internet brings out the Idiots

It has been a long couple of weeks. On one hand great. My parents took Gabby giving us some much needed couple time. Then they came and visited which was lots of fun. I love seeing my daughter entertain her Grandparents and them try to entertain her. She stamps her feet and spins in a circle ala Happy Feet when she dances - which is all the time. She even puts her little arms above her head while she twirls.
On top of it she has figured out how to do head stands.
On the flipside a good friend of mine lost a loved one. Due to the circumstances the press got involved which in turn made a personal loss a public thing. Let's just say it's easy to say things when no one can see you. However I would love for any of those people to say those things to my face.

Ache

So my little one is at her Ada and Nana's in KC and I am trying really hard not to feel guilt. I miss her so badly I can hardly eat or think. I know she is in the 2nd best place in the world and this is as good as for her as it is for us, but God this is hard. I am struggling just looking at her toys.
She was such a good traveler. We drove to KC in two days and stayed overnight and she was just awesome. She was probably less crabby than her Mommy and Daddy. And for the record - Iowa is boring. Oh my it goes on and on. The people are very nice and parts are pretty but you hit the middle and ugh. I have never lived in the country so after awhile I had seen enough.
On the flip side the Iowa/WI border - beautiful. WOW.
So here I am trying to eat some time 'til Thursday when she arrives with her Grandparents. Then she and I partake in the Harley Davidson festivities with her Grandpa.
Now I just have to make it til then.....