so ready for vacation

in a few short weeks i will have a whole week with my family.
so excited!

Already a long weekend...

It has already been a long weekend for me and I haven't even it Sunday yet!!!
I had a remote that I had to get set up for by 10. We didn't get back to the station til 1:45, oil changed. Home around 3:30. Mr. Max and I played ball outside on the deck. (His new favorite playground), took a nap together.
AND now I have to go back to the station til midnight.
Back tomorrow at 3.
Rest on Monday.

Did I mention our house looks terrible?
Chris and I have been running around so much it looks like someone dumped a box of goodwill stuff in various rooms of our house.
My plan is to get up early enough tomorrow that I can get some stuff done.
Hey did some laundry, that is half the battle right? :)

I am so excited...

A three day weekend.
Yes I will be working and yes my husband will be gone but there is something about knowing I don't have to go to an office which is frankly - lovely. :)

Then In Retaliation I Cut My Hair

Ever have those days, weeks, months, years where you feel like you are drowning in all of it? I can honestly say since August that has been my life.
I had a bumpy start in regards to how I handled things but I am slowly improving.

Then today happened.
I prefer not to go into all of it because it is just not worth it.
Except to say that today I was made to feel awful that I had to miss work because of Chris's family. I asked to leave 45 minutes early to get my hair cut.
Mind you...I worked 4 hours on Saturday. I have not left before 5:30 every night this week. (Did I mention I start at 7:30?) And oh yes no lunches except for 1 day...
So in my mind leaving 45 minutes early not a biggie.
Except of course if you have a death in your family and leave 2 hours early on a Friday.
Oh and did I mention I am working from 7:30 - 5:30 to cover for someone to have the day off.
Mind you when I am gone people close for her or open. So she doesn't have to work the whole day... they also bring other people in...
UGH

So I went to my haircut.
And I cut my hair off.
I have been conforming to what I think my office thinks I should look like and it is ending now.
I do a fine job funky hair or no.
And I got my cartilage pierced.
I am going to start taking lunches and leaving on time.
I am going to live to work not work to live.

I might even go back to school soon...
Or become a stay at home mommy.
As sad as is this sounds with a loss there is sometimes opportunities...

Thank you Dad.

And this is where I have my nervous breakdown

Today I think everything finally got to me. We were audited internally and a lot of the mistakes were mine. We have a sister office that is borderline dysfunctional and I am feeling the heat as well taking it very personally.

So today I started crying at work.
I almost couldn't stop.
It was insane and crazy and really I kind of needed it.

I know I have not been the one to loose my loved ones but I have a loved one who is.
I wish I could help him and support him. I feel bad that I am even crying and being sad. It's not me...Yet here I am.

As if it couldn't get any worse...

Chris's Grandma passed away....

Back to Normal?

ok i was so going to blog about something else until i was distracted:

So.. I host Saturday at the 70's as most of you know.
Burger King now has a commercial that spoofs Helen Reddy's song "I am Woman"
Ashamed to say I laughed.

It is good to laugh.
Also got this really great forward, it is a comedian doing all the different dances through the decades in 6 minutes. If I can figure out how I will be post it so you can all laugh too.

Laughing it is good.

Here we are

We buried my father in law yesterday. The last 2 wks. have been awful. Let's just say some true emotions finally came out and it got a little ugly.
Essentially I had it out w/Chris's sister. Through this whole thing she has made it about her and what she has to gain, I can barely type that - gain out of all of this. It has been a little about loss but some comments have been made and some things were done that nearly ripped Chris's heart out.

However they are all they have now, I sat them both down on Thursday night and stressed how important it is they realize that. They both have a terrible habit of taking the other for granted then placing blame elsewhere. I am on my third funeral in 8 months. You can't take anyone or anything for granted.

You just can't. My heart has been ripped out several times recently and for my husband I bite my lip and keep going on. But I have to say if my children ever behave the way I saw some people behaving the last few days I will make them wish they were still in the womb. All of this is about loss and memories. Not stuff.
I am seriously thinking I need to get in touch w/my hippie roots and set up a tent somewhere in a field for away from the craziness. Except I like being clean, stuff, and please forgive me reality TV. :)

I guess my point is in this rant - cherish it, hold it, love it, don't forget it, be nice to people and yourself. All of that will take you alot further in life. Just look at my father in law. He may have left us but he did all of that and he was very loved.

Home

Well we are here. It has been a long couple days. I go to work tomorrow then the burial is Friday in the land of the Packers.
Chris and Jen went to a friend's for dinner. I told them I needed a time out so I would be ready for work. I am showered, have had some ice cream, and have sushi in the fridge.
In about an hour my favorite show is on - so nice to be home.

The last few days have been tiring but also very suprising. I always knew my father in law was a sweet, quirky guy. Maybe after all the visits, cards, and flowers so do his kids.

I am going to miss him, he was my champion and companion at family events.
He also was going to teach me to garden.
I will miss that lesson.