Changes

A lot , a lot, a lot is going on. It's all very complicated and some of it less than positive but in the end maybe the best?
In a few months if all goes well, Gabby and I will be on our own. I should be starting Grad School soon if I can get everything together, and to be honest I am quite overwhelmed.
My heart is breaking a little but I am trying very hard not to go there. I hate that I have become the negative girl. I pride myself on a positive outlook on everything but with all that is going on lately it's hard.
So I try to be practical and keep to myself. The less I talk to people the less negative I can be. In turn though I have become incredibly isolated the last few months and to say that isn't taking it's toll on me, that would be a lie.
It's hard sitting at home alone basically stewing while someone else in my life has started to live his life while he is single. Just because something is your decision doesn't make it any less hard.
Also, I have discovered sadly the people you think would stand up for you tend to step back and those who you didn't know cared step forward.
I know deep down this will all improve. I just wish it was sooner than later.

5 year Anniversary

So a week from Saturday will be our 5 yr. anniversary. We will be in Jamaica at the place where we got married. Very romantic. Unfortunately we are going as buddies. A lot has happened in the last few months, so good, bad, ugly,and otherwise. We are working on getting to place where we can at least be friends. I care about my husband do I love him the same way? Not sure. The good thing is rather than just throw in the towel we are working through it. Were will end up? I dunno know. I do know we have an amazing little kid. I never knew I could love someone so much. She makes me the happiest person. We should all be so lucky to have such a light in our lives.