Neglect - full

Of my blog - which doesn't bode well for me because I have signed on to try and write a novel during the month of November.
I am such a nerd.

Life has been a little stressful this week.
We have had to face up to some things we didn't want to deal with.
Like:
We probably will not be able to purchase a house for sometime....
We have to spend the holidays away from our families as they don't live anywhere nearby
We are poor
We are poor
Did I mention we are poor?

On a more personal note - I have had it repeatedly pounded into my head via my doctor that in order to be a Mom in the future I need to loose at least 40 lbs.
And oh yes because of the ticker I gots to have a C section.
Which in theory since I am kind of wimp sounds great but people I already have about 6 scars on my person - do I really need more?
And 40lbs?! Good god - I likes to eat oh how I love it.
My favorite exercise is laying in the big bed reading a good book.
But hey when you decide you want to be a parent - certain sacrifices have to be made.
I just hope I am able to do it all 'cause I will tell you a secret... I really want to be a Mom.

In attempts to satisfy all...

So this is our first holiday season as a married couple.
And boy do we have some issues...
Chris's family lives in Minnesota, mine in PA.
Where to go ?
What to do w/the dog?
How to get there since we are so frickin' poor?
All things we can't seem to work out w/each other.
And there we are.
I am going to go eat something and see if I can come up some good ideas.

Sucky day, sucky day....

EEEEEE....
So does anyone else work with people who talk about you in the third person as if you aren't there?!
I do and they did it to me today and it was awful, so awful that one of the people hasn't spoken to me since it happened. Four hours no talking at all...
I like my coworkers but lately they have turned into high school girls and the backstabbing is at an all time high and I am just done with it.
I struggle with my job anyway because I am so far away from what I want to do but to have to deal with childish crap too.
Bleh....
But hey - you know what in about a week I get to see my dear, true, oldest friends:
Ann, Dan,Paul, Nichole, possibly Jon and Bud all in one room.
Scary but true and so fun!!!
I am so looking forward to it!!!
Ann is the girl I wanted to be in college.
Just had this cool air about her without being a jerk. And she can play the guitar.
Hello...
Dan was just the biggest hearted person you would ever meet - knew how to make anyone feel good.
Paulie - what do you say about the guy who can be a huge pig and a big softy all in one.? :)
Nichole - has this laugh and smile she gets when Paulie is being Paulie that makes her so cool.
Jon - the guy who picked me up when I was the most down and made me feel normal.
Bud - Uncle Bud. The guy who let me cry - a lot.
My whole life I have never felt like I could be myself except around these people and now my husband and Bethie.
So even though my day sucked I get to spend time with my favorite people and that is all you need to get through a sucky day.
That - good friends.

Things that are good...

As to not offend no scary things this time around. :)
Your friends.
Your husbands, partners, boyfriends, girlfriends, ...
Your family
Your pets (no matter what they maybe) I really want a reptile lately. I just think turtles and Chameleons are adorable! Anyway moving on...
Chocolate, peanut butter together oh my!
As someone pointed out in my blog - orgasms.
hee hee...
I miss you Paulie!!!
Laughing
Again I miss you Paulie!!! Especially your imitations oh my god you made me laugh in school.
One in particular - Shawn. EEEEE!!!
Music - mix cds/tapes
My brother made me about three of them and I am currently rotating all three in my car.
If you like the Beastie Boys - check out Northern State. The Beasties but girls.
My favorite lyric "Last night I was good lookin/Last night I was cookin'/... But this is New York City so I had to hit the ATM again, again, again..."
Halloween!!!!
New shoes.
A good book.
Learning something new and being good at it.
A surprise gift.
A thank you.
A smile.
Trying out a random dish without a recipe and having someone like it.
Going out with someone you haven't seen forever.
Nice comments from unexpected places.
Sleeping
The big bed
A clean house and you didn't do it.
Still waiting on that one.
A great movie.
Favorite sweater, outfit, coat, hat...

I could go for awhile but I have to go help clean the dog's ears.
Cya

World's Most Crowded Cooking Show

So a bunch of us from work decided to go to a cooking show at the local high school.
We thought free food neat stuff right?
Hmmm....
Let me tell you some things you should never do if you are going to have a cooking show.
Stuff the poor exhibitors in the space that is considered "backstage" for the auditorium and jam it full of people!!!
Mostly the cranky woman type.
One lady had such a bad panic attack she almost killed one of my coworkers to get her out of the way. Going in I made it clear to my group I had crowd issues to which one of my coworkers kept running into me.
She always has to be in front. ... I deal 'cause I love her but the human crush was just too much for me and go out saw two exhibits and paid way too much for a mini Domino's pizza and diet coke.
Because they had no free food and the only vendors were : Domino's , the high school's cooking school, and a nice restaurant that was selling wraps I couldn't afford.
That was it!!!
But what I did get that was more than worth my $12 admission?
A night w/my friends and tons of great coupons to some cool local businesses.
Tons I tell you!
Favorite coupon? $10 of a DSW purchase.
If I can't enjoy the cooking show I will buy some shoes.

Just a suggestion

If you go to a Mexican restaurant and speak Spanish and ask the waiter what he suggests in the way of Margaritas... don't do it.
I did and I feel good now but my husband thought I had multiple drinks - no I had one the size of my head.
Hoorah for Herradura tequila.
Yum!
Hung out w/my girl Sandy and hunted for Halloween costumes - think we did well.
We have fun costumes - people will probably have to ask for explanations but once explained I think they will enjoy.
K - gotta go pass out.
Go White Tiger!

Falling is no good

So I fell down our stairs again.
Oh my I am a freakin' super genius.
I guess that is what I get for wearing pants that are too long.
I managed to scrape up my wrists, roll my ankle, bruise my ribs, and hurt my back.
Good thing it's fall.
Can cover this stuff up.
Also extra padding - love the big puffy sweater.


Debates are on tonight.
Not sure if I want to watch. Just get more and more frustrated with Bush.
Can not believe Sinclair Broadcasting can run the Kerry thing.
My Dad keeps harassing me about Nader. Not even going in there. :)
My Mom will not talk politics at all... so funny my Mom is the same woman who called me to give me "pointers" when I protested the Gulf War (that was a very pitiful demonstration too - feel a little foolish on retrospect) is borderline Republican.
She still is the coolest Mom ever.
Even if she isn't voting correctly. :)

I think before I start to get sad about the state of the world - which politics is prone to make me feel I am going to go.

Things that are scary...

Boys that take pictures of themselves shirtless and post them on the internet.
Crossdressers looking for women to give them tips and the fact that when I went to check out my friend's personal ad in a group of 150 ads I knew 10 guys not including him!!!!

What does that say about me?!
Please bear in mind I didn't date most of them but I did date some of their friends and or wished I had.
By the way - friend's ad by far the best and least creepy.
There were some nice ads don't get me wrong but my friend's was the funniest and of course he was the cutest. But then I guess that is why he is my friend huh?

Really though other things that are scary:
Being able to eat 10 EL Fudge cookies during an 1/2 hour of Oprah.
Sinclair broadcasting showing an anti-Kerry documentary.
The fact that people are age are ok w/Bush.
I am sorry if you are one of them but the man makes up words for pete's sake.
Enough politics... sorry
People saying my generation makes it ok for me to say terrible close minded racist things.
Being teased for not liking to eat alone.
Business changes.
People who are ten years younger than me running a store.
Trying to figure out how to split up holidays and make all family happy your first year as marrieds. :)
And finally and hopefully the Frankenstein movie I am watching tonight.

A Little Empty...

So I quit my part time job last night.
I was supposed to work two more weeks but after being harassed about going to the wake of my boss's Dad. I felt enough was enough.
I don't need to explain why I can't work or why I need to have my hours adjusted. I am not a child. I was all set to go in and tell my boss this in person however she had taken off for the night, forcing one of the other managers from another location to cover.
Ironic?
hmmm
I don't care. So I left a copy of the obit w/a post it saying I would not be returning.
It's amazing retail stores are able to staff anyone. I knew everyone's business because our manager has a huge month. As an HR person it frightens me how much she tells other people.
She is a few more blabs away from a call from the Equal Rights commission.
Luckily not my problem.

My bigger problem is feeling empty.
I am not digging my job too much anymore. A lot is changing and I am a little concerned about my stability. What sucks is I know I want to go back to school but to do that would mean debt we can't afford.
It doesn't seem fair. I finally know what I want to be and I can't afford to do it.
I want to teach, I want to work with kids and I can't even afford it.
Was so much easier when I didn't have a car payment. :)
Oh well... something will change I am sure.
Just need to figure out how.

Secrets and Lies

Those of you who know me know I am an exaggerter but not a liar until today.
I got a part time job got said job and quickly realized how completely over my head I was.
Also being scheduled on godly hours helped bring that to light too.
eee

Well I went in tonight and told my part time job I got a promotion and would be traveling on and off to Mexico teaching Spanish so I would have to quit.
I felt bad until I got home and checked my calendar.
After asking to be scheduled only one day a weekend I have yet again been scheduled two!!!
Ay caramba.

Also my new boss saying oohh no you can't leave.
ok i am over it.
nice...